He and I had been joking about one in every of our previous coworkers who would hit on me continuously with the road, “I’d make an ideal stepdad to your children, everytime you’re .”

He was quoting that line and we had been laughing when one in every of our coworkers got here as much as us. He stared at me intensely earlier than saying, “No, I’m subsequent in line for that.”

I used to be shocked. He and I had been pleasant, however I used to be pleasant with all the employees. Earlier than I might say something, the one I used to be joking with stated, “Whoa. she’s taken, proper?”

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The one who got here as much as us, A, stated, “So? I’ve been ready. She’s mine subsequent.”

H, the one defending me, stepped in entrance of me. He’s usually a laid again man, however he grew stern and stated, “She’s an individual. She’s not a bit of meat. Don’t discuss her like that.”

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Seeing one in every of my coworkers stand as much as one other one, seeing one man stand as much as one other, made me really feel seen. I’m practically thirty and have handled sexual harassment at *each* job I’ve had. It’s onerous to place into phrases what it meant to see another person arise for me.

Edit: I needed so as to add on that I did go to administration about A. They don’t take something like this flippantly and he now not works there. Apparently he stated one thing related about one other coworker of ours, however she didn’t say something as a result of it occurred exterior of the office. Different coworkers who heard it wrote it off as a result of he’s “solely nineteen and can discover ways to discuss to ladies.”

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62 COMMENTS

  1. When I was 19 I worked at a national chain of buffet style restaurants. Very quickly I became best friends with a male server, B. I was friendly with everyone I worked with. At the time was trying to learn Spanish, and my Spanish speaking coworkers would let me practice with them. One of the guys seemed to mistake my friendliness for flirting. He called me “corazón”. I thought it was harmless and let it go. One day, he came into work drunk. I was walking from the kitchen to my section with a tray in each arm when he came up behind me and ran his hands down my sides, from under my arms down to my hips. He said something but I don’t remember what. I just froze. B was nearby and decked the guy. Initially management wanted to fire both guys but the customers and other coworkers stood up for B and he was able to keep his job. I was shocked by what happened but so grateful to B for standing up for me. And grateful to everyone else who stuck up for him.

    This isn’t my only story about how being simply friendly got me into trouble. But it is the only one where someone stood up for me and made me feel safe.

  2. There’s the…”nice outfit can’t wait to see it on my bedroom floor in the morning” kind of asshole and there’s the…”I’ve been waiting in your closet with duct tape and a bone saw for you to come home, are you working late, getting tired of waiting..” kind of guy.

    This guy is the duct tape guy. What a creep.

  3. Those coworkers ready to write off such a comment don’t understand that people don’t learn social skills without feedback. Age is irrelevant if you have never received negative feedback for bad social behaviour.

  4. Also he literally didn’t pick up on the fact that you and H were making fun of the old coworkers behavior as ludicrous and creepy… Great job, H – shows the immense importance of allyship.

  5. “ only 19 and will learn to talk to women.” Eughh. Sounds exactly like a guy i used to work with. An all around asshole who was constantly trying to pick actual fights with coworkers, hitting on female coworkers (especially ones a decade + older than him), just being a straight up douche. People rarely checked him because “he’s young”. SO?!! That’s literally the best time to knock him down and teach him a damn lesson. Those guys never learn because nobody knocks their asses out lol.
    It’s so crazy because his identical twin brother also worked there, yet he was super polite and respectful most of the time. Aside from just being an annoying teen some times. Quite the opposite of his sociopath twin.

  6. Yeah, he learns by knowing it shouldn’t be tolerated. “Oh, he’s young, he’ll learn.” HOW, if there are no consequences? (and 19? Hitting on a 30 year old co worker?)

    If you ever meet that co-worker’s mom and dad (or main parental figure)… you need to tell them good job.

  7. I don’t get it. “He’s only 19 and will learn better”…. HOW?!?! If you keep letting assholes get away with being assholes when they’re young and AT THE AGE WHERE THEY AREN’T STUCK WITH THEIR PREJUDICE, when the fuck are they going to learn? After they get old enough to not change their ways because they got away with it for so long?

    It’s the most idiotic way of thinking. It’s like the other post on here was saying about the autistic kid stalking women he worked with and the boss just saying he’s autistic so ignore it. After which he got worse and worse until he was sexually assaulting a woman by grabbing her ass very hard and justifying it with “I’m autistic so it’s ok”.

    I think people just can’t be bothered to do something that’s a little awkward to save women the trauma of being harassed like that and that’s fucked.

  8. Being nineteen does not excuse this dumb motherfucker ‘A’ blurting out this kinda creepy, rapey shit. You wanna work around adults then you’ve gotta learn that there are consequences for your bullshit and that it comes back to bite you in the ass. Firing his dumbfuck ass was the right call. I’m a guy and if anyone tried this with any of my female colleagues then me and a couple of my team mates would definitely have given this guy a lesson in workplace ethics.

  9. Yeah I think people giving a pass on ” “only nineteen and will learn how to talk to women.” is the reason why a lot of guys continue being creeps like that.

  10. I’m not good with words – and I’d be stunned by the audacity – but I like to think I’d at least manage a ‘what the fuck is wrong with you!?’. I’m glad your coworker was more eloquent than me. Fuck that asshole.

  11. That’s not about learning how to talk to women.
    That’s learning how to THINK ABOUT women.
    Either he has been raised (by parents or environment) to think of women as objects or he he could have a serious psychological problem.
    Either way he is dangerous.

  12. Glad your workplace doesn’t tolerate that sort of behavior.

    Glad your colleague sounds like a stand up dude!

    Sorry you were spoken to like that in the first place.

  13. > because he’s “only nineteen and will learn how to talk to women.”

    As a 21-year-old woman this line really pisses me off; he’s just going to think his behaviour is okay if no-one calls him out on it! Selfish bastards smh

  14. > Other coworkers who heard it wrote it off because he’s “only nineteen and will learn how to talk to women.”

    Not if he’s acting like a creep *now* and never experiences any consequences for it he won’t.

  15. It’s so creepy when guys say that they’re “next in line.” One of my old friends is married but they’re in an open relationship and when I was having some relationship trouble years ago I’ll never forget that her husband’s first response was “I call dibs if you breakup.” She laughed. I stopped talking to them.

    I’m so glad your coworker stood up for you. Sorry you were put in that situation in the first place by that creep though.

  16. I’m glad he got fired over it because even being “19 and will learn how to talk to women”… We learn by consequences. He won’t learn if action, like being fired, doesn’t take place.

  17. He will not “learn how to talk to women”.. if anything, he will become more dangerous because now a woman got him fired for what he perceives to be a “normal” interaction with a woman.

    Good for H.. but A needs a knuckle sandwich..

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